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Here's who I am and what I do for a living

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When I asked: "But you, your job?" for me it's always difficult to answer because my profession is not complicated, oh God, too, but mainly because I do and also one thousand jobs and is often difficult to list them all and especially explain them and then usually I limit myself to define what I have made in recent hours.

Here then who am I do ... and that job.

It 'my fault. It 's always my fault. When the air conditioner is crashed, which definitely will happen ', and' my fault. I have no control over the conditioning of course, but this does not exonerate me from responsibility '.

Ditto for the elevators, plumbing, electrical, lighting, locks, UPS, the electronic and paper mail service, electrical power, telephones and anything else.

If something does not work, dead or dying, I am what I receive calls from everyone. I'm the one for which the missiles are prepared in the control room and are what everyone expects to resolve the problem even before it arises. I have a time machine to solve problems retrospectively of course, and even this thing is my fault.

I can not hide. Everyone knows me and know my name and my phone number. My face, my favorite t-shirts and license plate of my car are posted on all corporate boards. The footprints of my boots were analyzed and are displayed at the entrance along with traces pheromones so that dogs can be traced. My Coffee 'contains radio tracers. The analysis of my DNA is released on SourceForge and is freely downloadable. I am a known person.

I am what I expect everyone knows that, even without having had the chance to miss' RTFM of all the details, strengths and weaknesses, idiosyncrasies, phobias and deviations from the standard of every fuckin piece of software installed in the company. I'm also the one who needs to know where and when what there is' written in the documentation does not match reality.

I'm the one that everyone expects to be able to process the documenzione a project for sending the first man on Mars within 24 hours and at the same time, is able to translate it instantly into Elboniano, Hausa, Mordovia, Yakut, Quechua , Maori, Yanomano, Yandruwandha, Estonia, Bengali, Urdu, Finnish, Kwakiutl, Euskara and of course in ancient Aramaic and in five other languages and now death unknown. And the great thing is that somehow, despite everything, I can also do so.

For my head, miracles are not simply enough. I'm constantly improving and if I have done wonders last week this week will surely better. On the other hand, I have already worked wonders last year, so I have something better to do it this year.

I'm the one who works at 3 am Sunday to save your ass from some multinational mega-billion - not my business, but another, where my friend works.

I'm the one who simply looks at some device that does not work and what makes it work as expected. It 's not necessary to fear God, he knows that I am her only lord and master. Maybe I was not I who brought to life in this world, but sure what can 'put an end to its existence.

I have no control over foo and not even know that stuff is or what to serve, but when it breaks my fault.

I am the system administrator software developer aka aka aka webmaster web developer aka the project manager account manager aka aka aka Project Manager Systems Engineer Security Manager aka aka DB administrator aka aka hardware engineer ...

The above text has been freely adapted from the text by Mike on alt.sysadmin.recovery after reading on " Stories from the engine room "

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